This is a dead xanga.

<3

I have a new xanga now.

Anyone who wishes to know of this new xanga, leave a comment, and I'll be sure to advise you of my new xanga name.

This message shall be up for a few days.

And that's all she wrote.

~<3 Kiki

"No evil can ever totally eclipse the pureness of someone's heart."

ahhhh. I dunno. For some reason, I didn't feel like making a xanga entry today...oh well...here goes...

Woke up at 11. I tell you...I WILL get sweet revenge on those annoying birds in the trees outside my windows. Bastards...

Did some laundry today. It's been a longgg time since I last did laundry. Glad to get it over with today though, and I must say, that new washer and dryer sincerely rox my sox.

It kinda bites how I use mother as my crutch financially, but all my money that I earn is going to something...and it's imperative that I save every last dollar, which I am somewhat utterly devoted to doing...but I really wanna go school shopping...-.-;

I got into a little fight with mom when she came home today, when I did mention the school shopping. She said it wasn't her fault that I previously gave a lot of my clothes to her and to other people. This I know is true. But it's also not MY fault that I don't want to look like a hooker with half the clothes that I used to have, thus my reasoning to give it all away. And she said that now that I don't look like a hooker, I look like a "frump". For those of you who don't know what a "frump" is, it's kinda like the baggy version of a scrub. XD. I prefer to wear clothes that don't show off anything I have, rather than clothes that give it all away mother, thank you very much. You can kiss me and my "frumpy" ass. -_-

It's raining...maybe I should go running out in it like the crazed little girl that I am...oh, wait, that's right. I CAN'T. Cuz this morning I woke up and found that I had a HUGE blister on the heel of my left foot that was all puffed-up and filled with water. Can you say ew? ew. lol. So anyway...I took a needle and popped it, then had to peel the skin all off...and covered it with a bandage. I must look SO stupid with a bandage...on my heel. And it keeps me from running outside too...damn it to hell.

Oh...that poem I gave to that woman Diane...she finally was able to post it...on the net. I'd give the link, if I knew that some people wouldn't find my other poetry as well...which, sorry, but I don't want. lol. I'll post up my friend Mark's though...cuz his is awesome.

Woooo, hm, not feeling myself today...I think I'm stretching from the constant border of "contentment" into the "happiness" region. We'll hafta see.

~<3 Kiki

Maybe Breath Travels Air

Those grimy, slippery stairs.
Descend the concrete steps fused with worn gum
Now Dry and Cracked.
Enter the line, wait for the troll to slowly
Give his golden coins, as the rush goes by
That’s another twenty-minute wait
Who shall entertain me?
Saxophoneman works on Tuesdays
His art varies, so bebop, so bossa nova.
Guitarman works on Fridays
Cracked Voice over a dull and uncivil crowd.
Magician is a chance, Mondays or Wednesdays.
If you’re lucky, you get to see the lime disappear.
No matter
Walk Down to the tracks, a vast tunnel 
Only given the light of man
-Made products, no sun to guide the way.
Rumble above, Rumble below, as common
As the coo’s of pigeons to the innercity ear
Walk up, check the number on the dirty window
It comes to a stop, grab hold of the silver bar, 
walk inside
The World Of Culture
Pimp to the left, Single Mom to the right
A sullen old man, a yuppie on her cellphone
A drug dealer, a queer
A suit and brief case, a drunk 
An anarchist, a conformist
An entrepreneur, a procrastinator
The pious, the selfish
The right, the wrong
A sea of Lifestyle and Diversity,
All in front of me
Oh and the Haitian guy driving behind me
Grab my seat, look out the window, let the 
World Disappear through the Tunnel.

By Mark Gomez

"Mad props dog...foo...pimp...oh, whatever."

ahhhhh. I could really go for a midnight escapade right about now. NO. Not like THAT. lol. I mean like, some type of crazed adventure to somewhere...anywhere, so long as it isn't anywhere near here, and there's the risk that I can be caught at it. Dammit. When I think of something, I swear, I'm gonna just go with it. REBELLION!!! XD.

You won't believe what song I'm listening to. x.x. Michael Jackson's "Black or White". Yes. I'm scared too.

Something about this morning reminded me of a story. YAY! Story time with Kiki. That sounds like some show on PBS...damn it to hell...uhhhm, anyway...about a few weeks back, me and my mom went to the mall, and I decided to slip into Victoria Secrets. Now, there's the part of that store, that I stand and shop in, and the other section, that I stand, laugh while waving around see-through thongs, and say, "Like I am EVER gonna wear this!" Now. We went to that part of the store, so that I, yet again, could see the little scraps of fabric put together that SOMEHOW are called "undergarments". So I pick up two G-string-looking thingies, one a peach color and the other blue, both consisting of lace and ribbons, and I put each one against my body, and I jokingly ask my mom, "Hey, mom. Which one would look better on me?" And some kid, probably younger than my bro (who's 11, I might add) comes up to me and goes, "I bet they'll ALL look good on you. Better yet, you'll look better...with none of them on." Ok. What...the...fuck. Here's some 8 year old kid, and I gotta give him props for saying something that is beyond his years sexually, and also for running away after he dared to say that to me, but honestly, who the HELL are his parents? I'd really like to meet them, so I can bitch slap them both for not washing that kid's mouth out with soap. Yes, I know. I'm not an angelic child either...but at least I don't do/say shit like THAT.

Another thing, on a similar note to that...how can some parents ALLOW their kids to do certain things? See, my forms of rebellion are usually: being on the comp, not cleaning the catbox when I am told to and going on crazed escapades at random moments, and my parents finding out about them after it's all said and done. But I don't understand, how parents can allow their underaged kids to do both illegial and dangerous shit. And I also don't understand, how kids can get into such extensive situations of disrespect, misbehavior and illegial activity. And on top of it all...they like it. It just really blows my mind sometimes.

lalalalalala, still can't hear out of my right ear...stupid shit...-.-;;;

Mom is gonna be at work this whole week. My bro is at camp. I have the house to myself. Holy shit fuck.

Kay. Enough of my ramblings. See yah peeps. XD.

~<3 Kiki

edit: Toying with the idea of getting a new xanga...reasons being that this xanga name does not suit me AT ALL.

Found this on someone's xanga...kid's got a good point...

A person’s mind is enclosed in two worlds: a world of contentment and a world of sorrow. This perception truly depicts an average individual’s life. When something excellent happens to a person, they continue with precautions because in their mind “it is too good to be true.” But is it?

At an age where teens are teens and they are doing what society labels as “experimenting,” it is merely impossible to carry a substantial relationship with someone who is “too good to be true.” Others beg to differ and substantiate the world wrong by carrying out a rather long relationship at such an age. Is it because they found the person they have been looking for their whole lives and were lucky enough to find them at an early age? Every moment, every second, and everyday, certain individuals ponder about such things.

All I have to say is don’t lose that person when you find it. Just don’t because you will always REGRET it. Believe me, you will. If you were to open my wallet and look who I have there, you would know what I mean by regret. Somebody once told me “the only risk in life is the one that your not taking.”

"Your momma's so stupid, she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death."

Dad was here yesterday. I continue the continuous path of patching and polishing things up with him...for his sake and my own. He left for Finland again...and won't be back for 21 days...oi vey.

Well...last night was cool. My bro and mom went to the movies to see Spiderman 2, and I didn't want to see that, so I chilled at home. I stayed up and watched Inuyasha while eating BBQ chicken wings (holla XD), then popped up on the computer till 4 in the morning. X.x/). Kinda feeling the sleep deprivation now...lol.

I noticed how sometimes...I can't speak my mind. It's probably from all the time that I've spent secluding myself. Sometimes I can't communicate. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty intelligent, and I know the things I want when I want em, and I'm pretty handy with the English language...just...I think people will get mad if I constantly speak my mind. Like my mom does for instance. I can't say anything without her scolding me or yelling at me in some way. But it's different for other people. For some other people, I just can't say everything that's in my head, cuz sometimes I think they won't understand. It's not that I don't wanna tell them, and it's not that I'm afraid or anything...I just...can't do it. And there's alot of people that I have that little inhibition with. It's just weird what seclusion does to you after a long time...but I suppose it's something to continue working on.

Oh yes. And I finally admitted it. I do fuck-up. Recently, however, it seems to be a chronic thing. But at least there's comfort in the fact that I am HIS prodigal fuck-up, and not someone else's...lol. I must say, that thought makes me feel a hundred times better.

~<3 Kiki

p.s. I think I have found my permanent layout. I might put it up later, or in a few days. I dunno yet. lol.

edit: nvm. changed it anyway. XD.